LXML库简单使用

发布时间：2020-06-08 07:32:42 作者：莫渺1996
来源：网络阅读：863

import requests
from lxml import etree
headers = {'User-Agent': 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; Win64; x64) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/69.0.3497.92 Safari/537.36',
          'Cookie': 'gr_user_id = c6f58a39 - ea25 - 4f58 - b448 - 545070192c4e;59a81cc7d8c04307ba183d331c373ef6_gr_session_id = e8e4b66f - 440a - 4ae7 - a76a - fe2dd2b34a26;59a81cc7d8c04307ba183d331c373ef6_gr_last_sent_sid_with_cs1 = e8e4b66f - 440a - 4ae7 - a76a - fe2dd2b34a26;59a81cc7d8c04307ba183d331c373ef6_gr_last_sent_cs1 = N % 2FA;59a81cc7d8c04307ba183d331c373ef6_gr_session_id_e8e4b66f - 440a - 4ae7 - a76a - fe2dd2b34a26 = true;grwng_uid = 9ec14ad9 - 5ac0 - 4bb1 - 81c1 - bc60d2685710;abtest_ABTest4SearchDate = b;xzuuid = 79426b52;_uab_collina = 154660443606130958890473;TY_SESSION_ID = 907f32df - c060 - 49ca - b945 - 98215cc03475;rule_math = pvzq3r06hi'}
res = requests.get('https://www.qiushibaike.com/text/',headers = headers)
html = etree.HTML(res.text)
result  = etree.tostring(html)
name1 = html.xpath('//*[@id="qiushi_tag_121525610"]/div[1]/a[2]/h3/text()')
name2 = html.xpath('//*[@id="qiushi_tag_121525610"]/div[1]/a[2]/h3/text()')[0]
print(result)
print('\n')
print(name1)
print('\n')
print(name2)

输出结果：
D:\Python\venv\Scripts\python.exe D:/Python/venv/test8.py
b'<html lang="zh-CN">\n<head>\n<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"/>\n<meta http-equiv="X-UA-Compatible" content="chrome=1,IE=edge"/>\n<meta name="renderer" content="webkit"/>\n<meta name="applicable-device" content="pc"/>\n<meta name="domainverify" content="pmrgi33nmfuw4ir2ejyws5ltnbuweyljnnss4y3pnurcyithovuwiir2ejqwmyrtguzdgobsmezdgnbyheywcmzthbrdmmtemu4tamrqg5rtmirmej2gs3lfknqxmzjchiytkmrzgq4demjugaydcnd5"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<title>幽默笑话大全爆笑笑话_笑破你的肚子的搞笑段子 - 糗事百科</title>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<meta name="keywords" content="幽默笑话,爆笑笑话,搞笑段子,笑话大全爆笑"/>\n<meta name="description" content="糗事百科官网提供幽默笑话大全,糗百网分享的各种爆笑笑话、搞笑段子,小心笑破你的肚子,精彩搞笑笑话就在糗事百科！"/>\n<meta http-equiv="mobile-agent" content="format=xhtml;url=//www.qiushibaike.com/text/"/>\n<meta http-equiv="mobile-agent" content="format=html5;url=//www.qiushibaike.com/text/"/>\n\n\n\n\n<meta name="robots" content="noarchive"/>\n<link href="//static.qiushibaike.com/css/dist/web/app.min.css?v=1a44fd15c6e802cc1ab5953bd398eea8" media="screen, projection" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css"/>\n<script type="text/javascript">\n// Baidu Automatic push content\nvar _hmt = _hmt || [];\n(function() {\nvar hm = document.createElement("script");\nhm.src = "https://hm.baidu.com/hm.js?2670efbdd59c7e3ed3749b458cafaa37";\nvar s = document.getElementsByTagName("script")[0];\ns.parentNode.insertBefore(hm, s);\n})();\n// 收集运营上缓存证据\nwindow.config = {\n\'user_time\': \'2019-02-18 15:54:37\',\n\'version\': \'2017-09-04 14:36\'\n}\n</script>\n</head>\n<body>\n\n\n\n<div id="header" class="head">\n<div class="content-block">\n<div class="logo" id="hd_logo">\n<a href="/"><h2>糗事百科</h2></a>\n</div>\n<div id="menu" class="menu-bar menu clearfix" style="margin:0 10px">\n<a href="/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">热门</a>\n<a href="/hot/" target="_blank">24小时</a>\n<a href="/imgrank/" target="_blank">热图</a>\n<a id="highlight" href="/text/" target="_blank">文字</a>\n<a href="/history/" target="_blank">穿越</a>\n<a href="/pic/" target="_blank">糗图</a>\n<a href="/textnew/" target="_blank">新鲜</a>\n\n\n</div>\n<div class="userbar clearfix hidden">\n<div class="login hidden">\n<a href="/my" class="username" id="uname" rel="nofollow"/>\n</div>\n<div class="logout">\n<a href="javascript:void(0);" class="fn-signin-required logintop" id="logintop" rel="nofollow" style="font-size:16.5px;">登录</a>\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n\n\n\n<div id="content" class="main">\n<div class="content-block clearfix">\n\n\n\n<div id="content-left" class="col1">\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_long" id="qiushi_tag_121525610">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/40403533/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/4040/40403533/thumb/20190127184632.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="我咧果乖乖"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/40403533/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n我咧果乖乖\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">18</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121525610" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n在街上看到一对情侣，男的对女的说:我现在没有房，没有车，没有才华，没有天赋，你还会爱我吗？女的哭着说:傻子，我爱的是你的心，虽然你一无所有，但你有爱我的心。最后这对情侣抱着哭在一起。…………<br/>看到这里，我也对我的女朋友说:你会喜欢我现在一无所有吗？女朋友听了后，沉默了。看着女朋友，我慢慢地露出笑容，结果女朋友对我扇了一大嘴巴子，说:你还有B脸笑。<br/>…………\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">407</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121525610" data-share="/article/121525610" id="c-121525610" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">5</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121525610" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121525610" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121525610,1)" class="voting" data-article="121525610" id="up-121525610" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">408</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121525610" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121525610,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121525610" id="dn-121525610" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-1</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121525610" id="c-121525610" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121517888">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/40485675/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/4048/40485675/thumb/20190215174735.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="云袖飞花醉月明"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/40485675/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n云袖飞花醉月明\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">26</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121517888" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n当年我上学，一次考试，我得了八十分，而同桌闺蜜只得了二十分。<br/>　　我就嘲笑闺蜜，闺蜜说，这是一种均衡，说明上帝是公平的，我颜值八十分，考二十分正常，刚好凑个一百分，至于你，考八十分也是为了弥补你的颜值。<br/>　　我想了一个月才明白，哦，这家伙说我丑……\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2175</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121517888" data-share="/article/121517888" id="c-121517888" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">45</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121517888" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121517888" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121517888,1)" class="voting" data-article="121517888" id="up-121517888" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2188</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121517888" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121517888,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121517888" id="dn-121517888" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-13</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121517888" id="c-121517888" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121517888" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">amiao：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n就你这智商，我很怀疑你的八十分是怎么来的\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n32\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121536768">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/35225229/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3522/35225229/thumb/20181128084118.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="晴～风"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/35225229/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n晴～风\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">29</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121536768" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n今天老爸和老妈吵架了，我去房间里安慰老妈，然后，就想开个玩笑，逗老妈说：“天天吵吵，为啥不离婚？”<br/><br/> 结果，老妈来了句，“我跟你爸商量过，在怎么也不能离婚，因为，我和你爸谁都不想要你的抚养权”。……\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">1849</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121536768" data-share="/article/121536768" id="c-121536768" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">31</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121536768" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121536768" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121536768,1)" class="voting" data-article="121536768" id="up-121536768" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">1854</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121536768" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121536768,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121536768" id="dn-121536768" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-5</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121536768" id="c-121536768" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121536768" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">云袖飞花醉月明：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n确认过眼神，你就是沙雕\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n12\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121536555">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/14849114/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/1484/14849114/thumb/20180717101252.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="星劫"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/14849114/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n星劫\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">28</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121536555" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n小李心血来潮，把一段岛国片的啪啪高潮部分输入老婆的手机，可以语音拨号自己的手机。<br/>　　结果，他老婆偷情的时候，语音拨号被启动了，呼叫到他手机上，当时他的脸就绿的……\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2021</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121536555" data-share="/article/121536555" id="c-121536555" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">33</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121536555" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121536555" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121536555,1)" class="voting" data-article="121536555" id="up-121536555" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2031</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121536555" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121536555,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121536555" id="dn-121536555" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-10</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121536555" id="c-121536555" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121536555" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">-老司机：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n这种事多半说的就是楼主自己，小李表示不背这个锅\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n60\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_old" id="qiushi_tag_113877300">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/30629638/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3062/30629638/thumb/2018053121284449.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="我就笑笑不语"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/30629638/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n我就笑笑不语\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">25</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/113877300" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n还记得&#2×××;糖果壳包了个石子骗小伙伴吃的那个熊孩子么！还记得&#2×××;牙膏放到饼干骗小伙伴吃的那个熊孩子么！还记得把苹果中间弄个小洞里面放虫子的熊孩子么！还记得……好了你不&#2×××;说了没错我就是那个被骗的小孩！！\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">866</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/113877300" data-share="/article/113877300" id="c-113877300" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">9</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_113877300" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-113877300" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113877300,1)" class="voting" data-article="113877300" id="up-113877300" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">911</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-113877300" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113877300,-1)" class="voting" data-article="113877300" id="dn-113877300" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-45</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/113877300" id="c-113877300" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121454040">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/12593187/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/1259/12593187/thumb/20181119175602.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="双手发抖"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/12593187/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n双手发抖\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">88</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121454040" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n女儿的同学们最近流行养兔子，她也吵着要养，老婆嫌脏不同意。我给孩子支招，让她偷偷的给姥爷打电话，让姥爷给她买两个兔子，姥爷买来的东西，怎么也不能扔了。<br/>我不知道女儿怎么跟岳父说的，今天岳父来了，带了两只兔子，一只麻辣，一只五香。\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">8590</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121454040" data-share="/article/121454040" id="c-121454040" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">88</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121454040" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121454040" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121454040,1)" class="voting" data-article="121454040" id="up-121454040" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">8621</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121454040" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121454040,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121454040" id="dn-121454040" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-31</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121454040" id="c-121454040" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121454040" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">在下桂忝殷：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n以前在农村住的时候，想吃兔子只需要把家里的大黄二黄小黄全部赶上山就行了\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n86\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121536766">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/12593187/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/1259/12593187/thumb/20181119175602.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="双手发抖"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/12593187/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n双手发抖\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">88</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121536766" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n玩游戏，很久没联系的初恋女友忽然邀请我组队，组就组呗，估计她是心情不好啥的，反正我也不说话，陪她玩了半夜，还带她吃了两把鸡。<br/>第二天晚上，她又组我，有些不对劲啊？<br/>我神不守舍的又陪她玩了半夜。<br/>第三天晚上她又组我，打了两把忽然明白了过来，开语音喊，“小屁孩儿，谁让你拿你妈妈的手机玩的！”\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">1764</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121536766" data-share="/article/121536766" id="c-121536766" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">22</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121536766" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121536766" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121536766,1)" class="voting" data-article="121536766" id="up-121536766" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">1769</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121536766" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121536766,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121536766" id="dn-121536766" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-5</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121536766" id="c-121536766" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121536766" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">骑着二哈啃黄瓜：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n这辈子没办法进你门，那就进你儿子的家门\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n43\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121449733">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/40143394/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/4014/40143394/thumb/20181224154038.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="程思思s"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/40143394/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n程思思s\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">0</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121449733" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n回老家玩，大伯让我去宰只鸭做下酒菜。<br/>于是我随便逮了一只，放完血提着就回去。<br/>大伯问道：你宰它时，它叫唤没？<br/>我说：不能不叫唤嘛，都割喉了。<br/>大伯：那你知道它在说啥？<br/>我：它说啥了？<br/>大伯：它在说我是鹅，我是鹅！\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">4780</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121449733" data-share="/article/121449733" id="c-121449733" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">66</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121449733" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121449733" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121449733,1)" class="voting" data-article="121449733" id="up-121449733" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">4818</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121449733" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121449733,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121449733" id="dn-121449733" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-38</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121449733" id="c-121449733" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121449733" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">隔壁小聂：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n鹅鹅鹅，曲项&#2×××;刀割，拔毛加瓢水，点火盖上锅。\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n71\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121449191">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/25216936/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/2521/25216936/thumb/20181217092635.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="狸土豆大人"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/25216936/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n狸土豆大人\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">99</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121449191" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n男友送了盒口红，整整六支。虽然是没见过的品牌，不过看着挺精致的，心想可能是微商那买的手工口红。<br/>问男友多少钱，他说一百块。我想着还好，一百一支也不算贵，没败家。直到后来才发现，是一百块五支，买五送一。。。\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2362</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121449191" data-share="/article/121449191" id="c-121449191" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">44</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121449191" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121449191" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121449191,1)" class="voting" data-article="121449191" id="up-121449191" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2380</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121449191" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121449191,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121449191" id="dn-121449191" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-18</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121449191" id="c-121449191" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121449191" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">玫瑰使者：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n100一支，假一赔五\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n47\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_old" id="qiushi_tag_113879095">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/9281511/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/928/9281511/thumb/20170115210943.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="二一……"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/9281511/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n二一……\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">26</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/113879095" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n以前都是看糗百笑笑而已,现在却要做糗百的项目，真的笑不出来了。\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">168</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/113879095" data-share="/article/113879095" id="c-113879095" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">6</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_113879095" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-113879095" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113879095,1)" class="voting" data-article="113879095" id="up-113879095" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">180</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-113879095" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113879095,-1)" class="voting" data-article="113879095" id="dn-113879095" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-12</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/113879095" id="c-113879095" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121534702">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/32019126/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3201/32019126/thumb/20160718135727.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="蜜mora"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/32019126/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n蜜mora\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">31</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121534702" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n在老家几天老公嫌挤的慌，带着小崽打地铺睡床边，我带大崽睡床。半夜感觉不对劲，有人在我身上拱来拱去。麻蛋，猴急猴急也不看看几度的天，谁要跟你被窝里面翻红浪，冻死一对家鸳鸯。果断一脚撩过去，噗噗闷响，床底下传来了我家11个月娃的哭声。崽啊，妈真不知道你有半夜爬床的习惯[捂脸][捂脸]\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2099</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121534702" data-share="/article/121534702" id="c-121534702" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">40</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121534702" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121534702" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534702,1)" class="voting" data-article="121534702" id="up-121534702" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2105</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121534702" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534702,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121534702" id="dn-121534702" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-6</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121534702" id="c-121534702" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121534702" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">糗友708364：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n是你老公有半夜爬床的习惯吧！\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n15\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121535706">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/30201529/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3020/30201529/thumb/2018062819414093.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="道士下山会女神"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/30201529/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n道士下山会女神\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">100</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121535706" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n老小区没车库，车都停路两边，一向自诩倒车技术一流的老婆非得要倒车出小区，车走走停停终于倒不走了，二货不找自身原因，而是熄火下车转了一圈，然后一把拉开副驾车门，上下打量我一番，惊爪爪的喊道：都怪你屁股坐歪了，我说咋倒不走了呢？\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">1973</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121535706" data-share="/article/121535706" id="c-121535706" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">28</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121535706" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121535706" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535706,1)" class="voting" data-article="121535706" id="up-121535706" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">1984</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121535706" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535706,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121535706" id="dn-121535706" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-11</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121535706" id="c-121535706" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121535706" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">正版煮茶：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n让老婆开车，更费神[大笑]\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n19\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121534174">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/33653568/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3365/33653568/thumb/2017041408455094.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="旖旎萌萌"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/33653568/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n旖旎萌萌\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">24</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121534174" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n一大早刚到公司，就看到女主管发飙，不停骂人，摔东西，后来听同事讲，女主管经人介绍相亲，媒人对她说男方家挺有实力，是做铁矿生意的，后来处了一段时间才知道，对方家是收废铁的！这⊙∀⊙！，，，\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">5401</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121534174" data-share="/article/121534174" id="c-121534174" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">118</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121534174" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121534174" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534174,1)" class="voting" data-article="121534174" id="up-121534174" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">5422</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121534174" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534174,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121534174" id="dn-121534174" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-21</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121534174" id="c-121534174" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121534174" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">火因毒乀：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n收废铁的也可以比你年薪高三倍，你信不信？\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n112\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121535981">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/6044140/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/604/6044140/thumb/20160312153401.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="有意大利炮二营长"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/6044140/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n有意大利炮二营长\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">33</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121535981" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n《流浪地球》观后感，好莱坞的科幻灾难片都是造一太空船，诺亚方舟直接把人类带走，我国却是连地球一起带走，从这就可以看得出我国民对不动产的钟爱[捂脸][捂脸][捂脸]，不动产怎么说扔就扔呢？\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2318</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121535981" data-share="/article/121535981" id="c-121535981" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">41</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121535981" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121535981" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535981,1)" class="voting" data-article="121535981" id="up-121535981" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2326</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121535981" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535981,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121535981" id="dn-121535981" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-8</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121535981" id="c-121535981" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121535981" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">林～～寒：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n你有这感悟也是没谁了。。。估计很快就能有销售&#2×××;上你的台词了\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n34\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_old" id="qiushi_tag_113878077">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/30628236/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3062/30628236/thumb/20151116151707.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="被丑哭的帅比"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/30628236/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n被丑哭的帅比\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">0</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/113878077" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n刚才碰到小学时候关系挺好得同学好长时间不见了割割哒到了中午饭点说要领我搓一顿这回他请客天真的我就跟着去了。。。麻痹！真的是“搓”一顿！这狗人既然领我去大众洗浴搓澡！不说了他的雏菊我要了！\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">356</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/113878077" data-share="/article/113878077" id="c-113878077" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">1</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_113878077" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-113878077" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113878077,1)" class="voting" data-article="113878077" id="up-113878077" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">372</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-113878077" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113878077,-1)" class="voting" data-article="113878077" id="dn-113878077" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-16</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/113878077" id="c-113878077" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121535007">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/19967299/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/1996/19967299/thumb/201611061727422.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="娜时光&娜过去"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/19967299/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n娜时光&娜…\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">28</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121535007" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n我一朋友当伴郎被狠揍了一顿，事情是这样的：接新娘子的时候女方守的严实，他作为伴郎特卖力，不停拍门大喊：“开门啊，开门啊”，后来不知怎么脑子一抽，就顺嘴喊成：“开门啊，开门啊，别躲在里面不出声！你有本事去偷人，你有本事开门啊，开门啊开门啊，别躲在里面不出声，我知道你在家……”\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2083</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121535007" data-share="/article/121535007" id="c-121535007" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">25</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121535007" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121535007" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535007,1)" class="voting" data-article="121535007" id="up-121535007" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2091</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121535007" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535007,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121535007" id="dn-121535007" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-8</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121535007" id="c-121535007" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121535007" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">一世二人三餐四季：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n揍死没有？\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n27\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121535330">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/32019126/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3201/32019126/thumb/20160718135727.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="蜜mora"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/32019126/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n蜜mora\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">31</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121535330" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n你们知道没有暖气的室内3度有多冷吗？盖着8斤的大棉被，脚还是冰冰凉的，最后还得缩起来，悄悄放我11个月儿砸的小肚皮那里暖着……\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2835</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121535330" data-share="/article/121535330" id="c-121535330" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">195</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121535330" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121535330" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535330,1)" class="voting" data-article="121535330" id="up-121535330" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2877</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121535330" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535330,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121535330" id="dn-121535330" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-42</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121535330" id="c-121535330" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121535330" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">浪子De宿命：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n十月怀胎，就为了生个热水袋\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n52\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121455589">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/33028477/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3302/33028477/thumb/20190201071859.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="依丽若水"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/33028477/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n依丽若水\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">28</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121455589" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n为了要个健康的宝宝，要老公戒烟。每天刚进门，就让他冲我哈气。<br/>我提鼻子一闻：“今天你抽烟了，午饭特意吃了蒜，下班前嚼口香糖想掩盖，可蒜味口香糖后面有一股遥远的淡淡的烟味儿”<br/>他瞠目结舌：“卧槽，我特么是娶了个媳妇还是娶了条警.犬”\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">7171</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121455589" data-share="/article/121455589" id="c-121455589" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">87</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121455589" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121455589" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121455589,1)" class="voting" data-article="121455589" id="up-121455589" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">7203</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121455589" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121455589,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121455589" id="dn-121455589" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-32</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121455589" id="c-121455589" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121455589" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">小燕飞1206.：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n抽烟有害健康戒烟可以延长寿命戒了再抽抽了再戒如此反复可以长生\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n148\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121534771">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/12992639/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/1299/12992639/thumb/20180519105602.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="胖香"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/12992639/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n胖香\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">101</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121534771" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n经常嘚瑟自己体质棒，没想到就啪啪打了脸，这次感冒难受好几天也没好，刚才喝感冒冲剂，闺女很“单蠢”的开始笑话我：“妈妈，你果然是与众不同的，感冒冲剂上面都写着666！”\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">4033</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121534771" data-share="/article/121534771" id="c-121534771" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">123</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121534771" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121534771" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534771,1)" class="voting" data-article="121534771" id="up-121534771" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">4058</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121534771" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534771,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121534771" id="dn-121534771" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-25</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121534771" id="c-121534771" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121534771" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">天涯明月刀。：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n不是999估计喝不好\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n54\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_old" id="qiushi_tag_113879849">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<span style="height: 35px">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/thumb/anony.png?v=b61e7f5162d14b7c0d5f419cd6649c87" alt="匿名&#2×××;户"/>\n</span>\n<span>\n<h3>匿名&#2×××;户</h3>\n</span>\n\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/113879849" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n下班遇到小学生放学，一起挤公交车。好挤。两个7，8岁的小男孩挤得发生摩擦了，于是互相问候起来。“草你大爷”，“草你妈”，“草你姐姐”，“草你姑妈”，“草你全家”，“草你祖宗十八代”…………现在的小孩都怎么了？？？我是个妹纸，我忽然一阵生气，大吼一声：草完没有，草完回家写作业啦。全车人都惊呆了！\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">1733</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/113879849" data-share="/article/113879849" id="c-113879849" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">26</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_113879849" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-113879849" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113879849,1)" class="voting" data-article="113879849" id="up-113879849" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">1840</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-113879849" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(113879849,-1)" class="voting" data-article="113879849" id="dn-113879849" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-107</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/113879849" id="c-113879849" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121535434">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/25216936/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/2521/25216936/thumb/20181217092635.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="狸土豆大人"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/25216936/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n狸土豆大人\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">99</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121535434" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n单位休息室新配置一台按摩椅，躺上面体验了一会，同事问：“土豆，人家都是脱了鞋子躺上面，你怎么连袜子也脱了，太讲究了啊。” 我嘿嘿一笑没做声，心想：老娘的袜子破洞了，不脱了岂不是影响本仙女完美气质！\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2943</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121535434" data-share="/article/121535434" id="c-121535434" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">101</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121535434" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121535434" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535434,1)" class="voting" data-article="121535434" id="up-121535434" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2972</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121535434" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121535434,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121535434" id="dn-121535434" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-29</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121535434" id="c-121535434" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121535434" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">骑着二哈啃黄瓜：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n效果不错吧\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n210\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121534758">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/32215536/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3221/32215536/thumb/20181122212921.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="吃了两碗又盛"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/32215536/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n吃了两碗又盛\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">39</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121534758" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n哥们要去外地工作，我给他饯行，我有点不明白他在本地干的好好的为什么偏要去外地。<br/>他说:情人节那天媳妇跟我生气了，说跟我离婚，我就把工作辞了，找了个外地的活。<br/>我:媳妇闹情绪哄哄就好了，这你还当真了？<br/>哥们叹了口气:谁说不是呢，我当时也是太冲动了，，不过还好，我说要去外地工作媳妇就跟我和好了，这就是距离产生美吧！\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">1787</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121534758" data-share="/article/121534758" id="c-121534758" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">41</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121534758" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121534758" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534758,1)" class="voting" data-article="121534758" id="up-121534758" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">1798</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121534758" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534758,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121534758" id="dn-121534758" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-11</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121534758" id="c-121534758" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121534758" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">傻晴°：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n距离产生隔壁老王！\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n94\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121480191">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/37507340/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3750/37507340/thumb/20181215222805.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="奔跑的小土狼"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/37507340/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n奔跑的小土狼\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender manIcon">26</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121480191" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n手机不小心进水了，暂时&#2×××;老爸淘汰了的老年机……<br/>我三姨带着表弟来了-借钱<br/>三姨：华子，你弟要买房，你能不能……<br/>我：姨，我只能借你一万，今年厂效益不好，工资都是拿保底，一个月才三千多，昨天放的假，工资现在还没到账呢<br/>正在这时，真没想到我爸那破老年机来短信居然自己读：您有最新短消息~刘志勇 (老板)向您尾号5744账户10:15存入一万三千五百元，余额一万三千五百壹拾元，摘要:工资。[光大银行]\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">2412</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121480191" data-share="/article/121480191" id="c-121480191" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">66</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121480191" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121480191" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121480191,1)" class="voting" data-article="121480191" id="up-121480191" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">2434</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121480191" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121480191,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121480191" id="dn-121480191" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-22</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121480191" id="c-121480191" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121480191" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">骑着二哈啃黄瓜：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n这话不好接，我坐着看别人装逼吧\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n86\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id="qiushi_tag_121534041">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/29314260/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-img\',\'chick\'])">\n\n<img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/2931/29314260/thumb/20190213103118.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="笨小子，说宠我"/>\n</a>\n<a href="/users/29314260/" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-author-text\',\'chick\'])">\n<h3>\n笨小子，说宠我\n</h3>\n</a>\n<div class="articleGender womenIcon">20</div>\n</div>\n\n<a href="/article/121534041" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-content\',\'chick\'])">\n<div class="content">\n<span>\n\n\n带着侄子去见男友，男友对侄子说，我看你像个帅哥。<br/>　　侄子却回答:“远远看你也像帅哥，走近这么一看吧……”<br/>　　男友问:“像什么？”<br/>　　侄子答:“像姑父。”<br/>　　哎呦我臭小侄子，姑平时没白疼你……\n\n</span>\n\n</div>\n</a>\n\n\n\n<div class="stats">\n\n\n\n<span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">3650</i> 好笑</span>\n<span class="stats-comments">\n<span class="dash"> · </span>\n<a href="/article/121534041" data-share="/article/121534041" id="c-121534041" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment\',\'chick\'])">\n<i class="number">35</i> 评论\n</a>\n</span>\n</div>\n<div id="qiushi_counts_121534041" class="stats-buttons bar clearfix">\n<ul class="clearfix">\n<li id="vote-up-121534041" class="up">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534041,1)" class="voting" data-article="121534041" id="up-121534041" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-funny\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">3663</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li id="vote-dn-121534041" class="down">\n<a href="javascript:voting(121534041,-1)" class="voting" data-article="121534041" id="dn-121534041" rel="nofollow" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-cry\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n<span class="number hidden">-13</span>\n</a>\n</li>\n<li class="comments">\n<a href="/article/121534041" id="c-121534041" class="qiushi_comments" target="_blank" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web-list-comment01\',\'chick\'])">\n<i/>\n</a>\n</li>\n</ul>\n</div>\n<div class="single-share">\n<a class="share-wechat" data-type="wechat" title="分享到微信" rel="nofollow">微信</a>\n<a class="share-qq" data-type="qq" title="分享到QQ" rel="nofollow">QQ</a>\n<a class="share-qzone" data-type="qzone" title="分享到QQ空间" rel="nofollow">QQ空间</a>\n<a class="share-weibo" data-type="weibo" title="分享到微博" rel="nofollow">微博</a>\n</div>\n<div class="single-clear"/>\n\n\n<a href="/article/121534041" class="indexGodCmt" onclick="_hmt.push([\'_trackEvent\',\'web_list_comment-popular\',\'chick\'])" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">\n<div class="cmtMain">\n<span class="cmt-god"/>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<span class="cmt-name">绦子：</span>\n<div class="main-text">\n投姑所好，小子可造！~\n<div class="likenum">\n<img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad"/>\n\n\n62\n\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_old" id="qiushi_tag_113879626">\n\n\n<div class="author clearfix">\n<a href="/users/13994597/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" 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['\n我咧果乖乖\n']

我咧果乖乖

Process finished with exit code 0

使用LXML库解析网页数据，etree.HTML()把网页数据解析为元素对象。etree.tostring()将对象转换为字符串输出。使用xpath语法获取用户id，返回一个列表数据结构，对列表进行分片list[0],输出列表的第一个元素。

LXML库简单使用

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